Today I offer you a bit of wisdom which I gained during my mother’s struggle with lung cancer. Why would I pick now? She passed away on August 14, 2004, and I miss her every day of my life. She was a wonderful, Southern lady – a true lady, in every sense of the word. She was full of grace, never had a sharp for me or for anyone else – not ever, and was the soul of dignity. She was witty, interesting, inquisitive, talented, and the very best life could offer me.
When we learned that she had a malignant lung tumor, she began radiation, but lasted only two days, because the treatment depleted her so much. At that time in her life, she was a frail woman, nearly 88 years old, but with the spirit of a young person in so many ways. Mom and I had always talked openly about death and dying, and so she made the decision to allow herself to die at her own pace, with us here at home, in her own room, and with the assistance of some lovely hospice nurses who came to check on her three times a week. I was her caregiver and her companion, and feel it was a great privilege to be able to give her this last gift in her life . She had been sheltering arms to me all of my life.
You know how we all say to ourselves – I can’t WAIT until next week, or I wish it would be Friday……..here is the lesson……..Were I to wish for time to pass quickly, it would have shortened the time with my mother. She was lucid until two days before her death, and although I hoped for an ending to her personal saga, I selfishly wanted time to drag by.
For all of you have have uttered those words of wishing something to come sooner than it should, remember those whose time is short. Remember your own lives, and savor each wonderful moment, even if those moments are sometimes tinged with sadness. We can never recover those days which have passed us by, but we can make the most of the ones we have. Have patience, and breathe in every second of your life!
In honor and loving memory of my mother, Mervyn Lee Judd September 7, 1916 – August 14, 2004
What a beautiful woman!